November 8, 2005
Caution!! Cardiac Risk Factors are Everywhere!!
There is no doubt that a sedentary lifestyle is a risk factor for cardiac disease. This story points out that with careful observation alone, some risks can be identified and avoided all together. And it points out that if you are planning to be sedentary choose your spots carefully.
The MSNBC headline from November 3, “Customer Glued to Toilet Seat Sues Home Depot” naturally caught my interest. Upon further perusal I discovered it is really a healthcare story. I read on.
Now let me just say on the front end (and not the back end) that I am truly sorry that this happened to this gentleman, and I am sorry for his public humiliation. But, Dude, this is funny!! As in absurd.
Here's the report:
BOULDER , Colo. –“ Home Depot was sued by a shopper who claims he got stuck to a restroom toilet seat because a prankster had smeared it with glue.”
“Bob Dougherty, 57, accused employees of ignoring his cries for help for about 15 minutes because they thought he was kidding.”
“They left me there, going through all that stress,” Dougherty told The ( Boulder ) Daily Camera. “They just let me rot.”
This is similar to rear-ending (yeah, I know) someone going less than 5 mph and have them stepping out of their car rubbing their neck. “They just let me rot”? This guy must be pretty close to rotten already to go over the edge in 15 minutes. All that stress? Perhaps this is his proverbial 15 minutes of fame. Jeez, I hope not.
“The lawsuit, filed Friday, said Dougherty was recovering from heart bypass surgery and thought he was having a heart attack when he got stuck at the Louisville store on the day before Halloween 2003. A store employee who heard him calling for help informed the head clerk by radio, but the head clerk “believed it to be a hoax,” the lawsuit said.”
Now I'm confused. He thought he was having a heart attack and that got him stuck? Or he got stuck and that gave him the impression of having a heart attack? What got stuck anyway? Is this person anatomically normal? Where is his heart? I've heard of sitting on your brains. But not heart. I don't believe he thought he was having a heart attack. And I'm not even on the jury.
Of course, Home Depot's response was the usual…"Home Depot spokeswoman Kathryn Gallagher said she could not comment on pending litigation."
“The lawsuit said store officials called for an ambulance after about 15 minutes. Paramedics unbolted the toilet seat, and as they wheeled the “frightened and humiliated” Dougherty out of the store, he passed out.”
Humiliated I can understand. Frightened? Of what? Of having the seat removed, I guess.
“The lawsuit said the toilet seat separated from his skin, leaving abrasions.” Ok, that could hurt.
“This is not Home Depot's fault,” he said. “But I am blaming them for letting me hang in there and just ignoring me.” For 15 minutes.
Well, that's really big of him. Does anyone think this could get settled out of court? Anyone for tort reform?
There are several lessons here. First, if you do get stuck to a toilet seat, don't think you are having a heart attack. It's your butt that's stuck to the seat, presumably. A toilet seat stuck to your butt is not a known cardiac risk factor. Somebody call Framingham to be sure.
Second, cut the employees some slack. It's Halloween. Laugh, it's good for your heart. And it is pretty funny. And besides it's two years later. Maybe it was therapeutic.
I can just see Home Depot's updated training manual: “if a customer calls for help saying his butt is glued to the toilet, believe it and don't wait 15 minutes. Act immediately. You could be preventing a heart attack.”
I'll bet it's a long time before Mr. Dougherty sits in a public restroom again. I'll bet his old coach, health class instructor and drill sergeant are just shaking their heads over his ignoring their good training about looking before you sit.
I am suspicious about how humiliated this guy really is. I mean, filing a lawsuit guarantees that the whole story is not only public, but published along with your name, and not only locally but on the Internet for all eternity and throughout the entire universe. So much for keeping it personal. I wonder if there are pictures to be presented at the time of trial. I hope MSNBC doesn't want to publish them.
So maybe it is about the 15 minutes of fame.
Caution, risk is everywhere. Just when you least expect it. Exercise is good. Sitting can be bad. For your heart too.
Robert B. Teague is a pulmonologist and business consultant who is based in Houston, Texas. E-mail him.
Read other blogs in this series.
